I’m sitting here, at my kitchen table, typing onto a screen, with not a whole lot to say.
Not that I haven’t been thinking a lot, of course.
I have been thinking a lot.
So many ideas – for blogs, for workshops, for life, for paintings – have sprung into my brain recently, some serious – reflections on the creative process – some silly – why are pizzas round? My expanded amount of free time and lack of co-workers has led to me discussing some fairly interesting things in my brain – and, I admit, sometimes out loud.
Normally, when I get a fairly interesting idea, I spring on it. I dive to my computer. I fervently rush to my keyboard to type out the stream of consciousness that comes out of my brain.
Instead, recently, I stop.
I listen to my thoughts.
I become aware of myself as the thinker, and detach myself from whatever emotion has nested itself within me.
And suddenly, I don’t care so much about what I was just thinking. It doesn’t seem to have the same immediacy, the same rush.
I am an idea machine. I generate them by the second. I am passionate, full of energy, curious. Why would I impede this, you ask?
Because, sometimes, silence is better.
Meditation is helping me to weed out my thought process. I’ve recently uncovered things about myself that I thought were far from the truth. Each day I surprise myself in how I react, in what I can do, and what I choose not to do.
Right now, my course of action is inaction.
My movements are slow.
My breaths are silent.
My mind – although not still – is calming.
I am starting to learn to weed through my thought process. And, instead of inhibiting my creativity, I think it will help, when I get there. I think, once I learn Presence, once I step away from the immediacy of a passion, once I can immerse myself in contentedness, that my best work will flow from me.
At least, that’s all I know for now.
Many non-updates to come.