I’m feeling a little confused.
After my entire “FUCK” realization, I’ve calmed down a bit. I’m on the hunt for a super awesome therapist, and I just ordered some books about trauma and somatic experiences, so I can understand what’s going on a bit more in my body.
Then today, I started to read The Power of Now, which has been on my shelf for a couple of weeks.
Everything in that book resonates deep within me. Eckhart Tolle rarely thinks about the past – he’s moved beyond it, he’s found inner peace.
This is everything I’ve ever believed in. I even wrote something about it – about how I am not my story, which, I tried to link here, but for the life of me, I cannot figure out where I posted the blog or post or when.
So now I’m confused, instead of upset.
Am I supposed to be letting go of the past? Or am I supposed to be processing it?
Am I supposed to be transcending our earthly experience, or connecting to it?
If I take Door #1, is this just me avoiding my life? If I take Door #2, am I violating the fundamental laws of a spiritual existence – to let go, walk beyond it…?
Do I really need a therapist, or do I just need more meditation?
Maybe a bit of both can’t hurt until I can figure out what’s going on.